002: Following Will Never Lead You to a Fulfilling Life
When you add your energy to a group or cause does it make you stronger or weaker? That is just one thing to think about today as I talk about leading and following.
Hello my friends and welcome to Five Minute Mojo. The word community has a profound meaning for me. It means the coming together of different people from all different backgrounds to create a oneness that thrives, that encompasses the very nature of life, to live, grow and love. However there is also a coming together that may not be as growth oriented as the community I think of. What I am talking about specifically is a group of followers.
In the distant past we found security in the group. We depended on it for our survival. That need for security got instilled in our psyche and amazingly it has become part of our genetics. Today we carry some of the same thoughts that our cave dwelling ancestors believed. Specifically, that to belong to the group is important. Like many thoughts this can either work in our favor or work against us.
In a negative sense we forget who we are. We want so much to belong to the group that our identity becomes diminished. We silence what we truly want and who we truly are in order to become part of a group. That group can be anything from a small group of friends to something much more challenging to escape, like societal norms. Many times a group is nothing less than a banding together of followers.
On the brighter side groups can also help create positive change. When a group of like minded people get together they become a significant voice.
So if groups can be either positive or negative how do you determine which is right for you, if any? To get that answer let’s step away from the discussion of groups for now and discuss the topic of leading and following.
When people think of leaders they think very globally, at least much larger than themselves. They think of CEO’s of huge companies, presidents or rulers of countries. They even think of thought leaders. But leading doesn’t need to be so huge. In fact it doesn’t need to go past who you are.
One of the greatest regrets people have at the end of their lives is that they didn’t live their lives for themselves. The followed the wishes of other people, well meaning or not. You can be a leader of your own life. Like most changes it requires taking some time to see where you are losing who you are, when you are following. Becoming a leader of your own life means that you follow your own direction. You make choices for yourself that will lead to your growth and happiness. There will be times when your thoughts and beliefs go against a group or even against larger societal beliefs. Yet if you are respectful to yourself and others there is no need to acquiesce to what other people are thinking.
Leading is the less traveled path. Following is encouraged in many places. Some following is relatively benign and other times hugely detrimental to yourself and society. Following a sports team or a celebrity is pretty mild. You certainly aren’t growing in a huge way but you aren’t causing harm. Following the leader of a cult or a political despot doesn’t serve anyone. we don’t need to look very far to see instances in history of that.
As I discussed earlier, your life will always feel empty if you give up who you are to become part of a group. On a very human level you will feel like it is the right thing to do. You are adhering to the thought that the group is everything. You are following the thoughts instilled in your since the dawn of man. However, the core of who you are that yearns to express its individuality will still wrestle with being silenced. We’ve changed since cave times. We are still a social people. We will always want to be with others. But we no longer need it for our survival like prehistoric man and woman did.
Think of that the next time you are asked to or willingly look for inclusion in a group. I’m painting a negative picture of groups but it’s not my intention. My goal is for you to understand you don’t need to follow to be considered important. As an individual you contribute to the world in an amazing way. When groups form that appreciate it’s members unique talents and skills everyone wins. Groups create positive change and individuals grow.
You can belong to any organization that respects your ideas and pushes you and others to grow. What’s a great example? How about belonging to a charity. You are part of a group yet no one is trying suppress your will. You bring your talent and skills for the betterment of society. In doing so, you grow as well.
So let me bring this point home for you by asking you a few questions to think about on your ride home or wherever you are.
What are two groups that you belong to now? Why did you join them? And have you ever had to stifle your thoughts or beliefs to remain in that group?
Remember, there are no right or wrong answers. The questions are a way of you becoming better at understanding who you are.
If you found today’s episode helpful then share it with your friends. Help them become better for themselves as well. This is Thom Walters signing off for Five Minute Mojo. Go make the rest of the day amazing, sleep tight and sweet dreams.
